Solomon's Bride
If you’ve never been to one of The Truth Collective Bible Studies on Song of Solomon you may wonder why we are so passionate about showing women their Identity in Christ and how in the world we find such a Truth in a rather sultry and under-represented book of the Bible. Before I “expose my own petticoat” I encourage you to read the Songs from start to finish - better yet, listen to it in audio form and in several translations. While you soak in the Truths designed for human marriage, I invite you to also consider the passages where God refers to Himself as the Bridegroom or His people as a bride (ex. Hosea 1, Ezekiel 16, John 3:29, Revelation 18, 19, 22) and re-read the poetry of the Song in that context. NOTE: Don’t take it too far - we’re not suggesting you imagine Jesus “climbing your palm tree and taking hold of its fruit”. Rather, look from the top of the Song’s entire message and imagine what the Groom has to say of you, His Bride.
Now, if you're anything like me "trying on the wedding gown" of the Shulammite woman in Song of Solomon feels like trying on a size 2 girdle (for reference, let’s just say...I am closer to an optimistic 12!). But as I continue my studies I am learning that seeing myself as the Bride of Christ in the Song of Solomon doesn't feel uncomfortable because I'm taking liberties with Scripture's poetry - although admittedly anything beyond Mother Goose is a stretch for me. It's uncomfortable because seeing myself in this way requires I throw off some deep seated lies about my identity. If you can stomach my candor and transparency, I'll show you what I mean.
First, there is that superficial embarrassment of not understanding Godly poetry. Even when I read Song of Solomon only on the literal level I struggle to acclimate to the Bible talking about big boobs and steamy sex (listen ladies, even if she had the tiniest of “fawns” she must have been a well endowed woman)! But, I'm learning to take each thought captive and hold it to the light of other Scripture. When I allow myself to imagine the groom with his bride, do I have the counter-cultural discipline to remember that God's design for sex is not just about perfectly timed orgasms but primarily about unifying two hearts and souls into One Flesh? Sin is responsible for distorting sex to be a selfish pleasure or an objectification of women. (**I’d like to take this opportunity to assert that the broken identities of women make us far more prone to objectify ourselves than just the creative minds of our Brothers!) But the soul-intimacy of the sexual act bids me to remember why God may have used monogamous marriage as an analogy for His relationship to the Church in the first place. (refer to previous Scripture references)
If I haven't already caused you to "clutch your pearls" let me bare my own soul a bit further.
If I consider identifying with the Bride in Song of Solomon on a non-literal level, I find myself "fighting the gown" for a deeper reason: frankly - she annoys me. She strikes me as a sappy damsel in distress from a Disney movie and I want to grab her shoulders, slap her face and shout "get a hold of yourself, woman - have a little self respect!" See, I pride myself on being a strong, confident and independent woman. That is the identity I have adopted and elevated over my bride-Identity. So this picture of a love-sick bride panting after her groom raises red flags in me; flags that point to a fear of being taken advantage of. Because that's my wound - that's my story. The Shulammite has let her guard down and exposed her heart to this man, trusting him to cherish and protect it; something I swore in college I would never do again. And I'm sorry to tell you I robbed my husband with that unTruth for nearly 20 years.
But Solomon isn't Jesus (as his hundreds of wives and concubines could tell you!) - and God doesn't expect my husband to be either! He is constantly calling me back to Song 5:10-16 to remind me of His strength and His ability to protect and cherish me perfectly. He reminds me fear is no longer necessary and He laid Himself down for me - even when I was "darkened by the sun" and made unlovely by sin. I can safely adore Him in the most reckless and embarrassing way and yet never resign the strength He designed in my personality. Relinquishing myself to Him enhances my character and brings glory to His own.
I cannot revel in this reality without immediately being reminded of how many of my Muslim friends live in a tragically opposite worldview. The Quran tells her God will never be available to her for any kind of relationship because he is only sovereign - never an adoring Bridegroom. The Hadith tells her she is sappy, sexual and stupid and therefore more likely than men to end up in hell or to cause a righteous man to sin. She is told her very presence annuls a man's prayer.
So I wonder...how can we, as beloved Brides of Christ, withhold the beautiful Truth of being fully loved, totally healed by that love, and liberated from shame, from Muslim women? How can we claim to be un-offensive or at all loving while withholding a True Love which could be her own?